2 for today! :)
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
Have A Happy Period!!
I just HAD to share this!!!!************************************************** ***This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail award-winning letter.
Dear Mr. James Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic.I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers monthly visits from "Aunt Flo." Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'Are you f*&^%$# kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable?Well, did it, James?FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kailua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong", or are you just picking on us?Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending b.s. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.
Best,Wendi AaronsAustin , TX
Dear Mr. James Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic.I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers monthly visits from "Aunt Flo." Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'Are you f*&^%$# kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable?Well, did it, James?FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kailua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong", or are you just picking on us?Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending b.s. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.
Best,Wendi AaronsAustin , TX
Friday, March 14, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Hall Monitor
So, I guess I'm a glutton for punishment. I signed up for hall monitor at CCD. This is my second week...ONLY 2 more to go! It's the most boring thing I have ever done. Thank goodness it's only 1 hour and 15 minutes of my time. I read a magazine while sitting in the hall watching child after child go to the bathroom, go get a drink of water, go back to the bathroom, go wash their hands. I swear, one little girl was in the hall 4 times in 75 minutes! I really don't think they are learning much in these classes. And these aren't the little kids. Last week I was in the 2nd & 1st grade hall. Out of 20 kids who went to the bathroom, I'd say 3 of them were 1st graders. This week I was in the 3rd and 4th grade halls. JUST AS BAD!! Come on!! You can't hold it for an hour??!??!! I feel badly for the teachers, but why are they letting them go??!! I guess they don't want to hear the wrath of the parents....what a hard job! I'll stick to hall monitor any day!
Parent Teacher Conferences
Last night was our 2nd P/T meeting for first grade. Jake's doing well. He has really come along nicely with his reading. I told his teacher that sometimes it brings tears to my eyes when we read his book everyday. I know!! I'm a huge sap but it's really amazing how he went from not reading a single word at the start of the year to really grasping it all within 6 months. He does great in math but we need to work on his handwriting. She told me that she knows he can write neatly but he sometimes gets distracted by what's going on around him (ie, NOSY) and then she has to hurry him up so that he can finish on time. I know he can write neatly as well, but he rushes to get it done so he can go onto something else. She also gave me some worksheets for over the summer so he can be ready for SECOND GRADE!! SECOND GRADE!! How the HELL did that happen! ;) Anyway, she said that in second grade they do alot of story reading and then comprehension writing...kind of like book reports. This I can handle. I loved reading and book reports when I was in school. I can help him with this...just don't ask me to help to use a ruler (Don't Laugh , Lisa!! :)) how to work with fractions, any sort of measurements or percentages...I start to sweat just thinking about it!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Monday, March 3, 2008
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